In the Tunnel
by muffy-allison
Summary: Follows Mimi Marquez's journey through the tunnel, where she witnesses flashbacks from her life. (often very PG) FINISHED as of 8/7/03!!! Come on, read and review the end--you know you want to!! Hehehe...thanks!!
1. Introduction

Welcome to my very first fanfic! I hope that everyone enjoys my story, which is basically a RENTfic that tells a roughly put together background of Mimi Marquez. A problem that I came across was the fact that I know very little Spanish. So, unfortunately, there will be no fun Spanish phrases anywhere. 

Obviously, I don't own any of the RENT characters, but a handful of new people appear who are products of my own imagination.

Reviews would be greatly appreciated. Be honest, but brutality is not desired. I hope everyone has fun reading this, as I had fun writing it.


	2. Somewhere

"Hold on , there's something you should hear…" How badly Mimi wanted to hear Roger's desperate and caring voice, but those were the last words she comprehended before she felt herself slipping away. She could still hear Roger's quiet melody, teeming with love, but everything else was going out of focus. She felt tired, but warm and content. Everything was becoming illuminated by a soft white light. However, when things became clear again, Mimi was in a different place, still transfixed by the tune. 

Where was she? It looked like…a tunnel - white and empty. She stood under the gently sloping roof and looked down the seemingly endless corridor, where a bright light was shining; if only she could get there…

Mimi tried to run through the tunnel, but found that she couldn't move. Was she dead? No, she wasn't gone--she knew she was _somewhere_. 

As she looked down, she noticed that her clothes had changed. She was now wearing a sparkling, dazzling, white gown, which was just brushing the equally brilliant floor. Her usually wild brown curls had been pulled back into an elegant up do. She was standing, barefoot, on a small square, which must have been the only thing in the entire tunnel that wasn't white. In fact, it was roughly the color of a night sky, complete with tiny silver stars. She soon realized that she, Mimi, would never move; this square would move her.

All of a sudden, the square rushed forward, along with Mimi. A cool wind caressed her face. As abruptly as it had started, the square came to a halt and turned so that Mimi was facing the left side of the tunnel, rather than towards the light.

Something like a movie screen appeared on the wall, and began to show what looked like a fuzzy, un-professional home video. There were no words, only Roger's song playing quietly, but steadily in the background. Curiously, Mimi stared at the screen; she gasped (and tried to move away, but the square would not allow it) when she realized that this movie was showing.

Author's Note: I have a feeling these chapters are going to be rather short. They look a lot longer in my giant handwriting…


	3. Injured, Crying, 4YearOld

What she saw was herself, alone in her childhood home, at age four. This was Mimi's earliest memory, now come to life on the a screen in this tunnel.

She was alone and friendless in the bedroom of her run-down New York house. It was late at night, and her mother was out, probably sleeping around for drug money. Mimi almost couldn't bear these early memories of her mother, as Mrs. Marquez had since reformed and made a complete turnaround to become a caring parent.

The bedroom door opened, and Mimi's large, muscular father appeared, drunk as usual. Though this movie lacked sound, Mimi remembered the dialogue. "Where's your mother?!," he bellowed with slightly slurred words. "I…don't know," the young Mimi squeaked meekly. 

The real Mimi knew what would happen next and didn't watch. She closed her eyes, but couldn't help reliving the subsequent events in her head and experiencing the pain of her childhood all over again.

Her father drew near her. She tried to cower away, but he grabbed her by her neck and pulled her gaunt body up to a standing position. Mimi heard the sounds of violence clearly in her head: the punching, slapping, twisting, breaking, screaming. Her father had ended the beating that night by throwing the defenseless Mimi across the room.

Knowing that the worst of the memory was over, Mimi opened her eyes again, and sighed out of pure relief. Her father had often been too drunk to do anything, but every once in a while, all of his anger and frustration exploded and was taken out on his only child, as she was often the only other person in the house.

When sober, her father was still far from kind and loving, but he was not dangerous. Mimi's mother had never physically hurt her. That was mostly because, during the height of her drug addiction, she barely even spoke to her daughter. The first six years of Mimi's life had been dark and lonely.

Back in the tunnel, the screen showed the injured, crying, four-year-old Mimi alone again. In an instant, the screen vanished. The square beneath her turned, sped forward again, and brought her to the next screen, which appeared as soon as she was turned toward the proper spot on the right side of the tunnel.


	4. I'm Giving Up My Vices

This time Mimi saw herself and her mother, both clad in black, in the front pew of a somber-looking church. Her father's funeral.

The occasion had been bittersweet for the six-year-old, though she never admitted this. As unfortunate as her father's premature death had been, the young girl knew that it ensured the end of her beatings. The memory of feeling happy at her father's funeral still brought a pang of guilt to Mimi's heart. She had loved her father, or at least, she had tried to, but she still couldn't help feeling relieved that he was gone.

In the pew Mrs. Marquez was crying silently. She too felt guilty, but not for the same reasons as her daughter. She knew that she had dishonored her husband and that her love had never been genuine. She had met her husband as a teenager and married him when she found out that she was pregnant. Both she and her daughter felt most sad that day because they were not truly sad and felt they should have been.

In the tunnel Mimi remembered how her father had died. Just as everyone knew he would eventually. He basically drank himself to death--liver failure. The funeral, of course, talked about Mimi's father only in the most positive light. A loving husband. A caring father. A good person. Mimi, at that time, had tried to pretend that these words were true.

While Mimi continued to concentrate on trying to feel sad, her mother was experiencing a revelation. For the first time, she really saw her daughter's situation. Now, with no father, all Mimi had was an aloof, crack-addicted mother. She had to step up and be a role model. She had to start taking care of and loving her daughter.

Now twenty, Mimi still recalled exactly what her mother had said, though the movie continued to provide only soft music. "Mimi," Mrs. Marquez had said quietly, but definitely at the funeral, "I'm giving up my vices." Her six-year-old waited for an explanation, but none came. Mimi hadn't understood, but nodded obediently.

Mimi felt another wave of guilt overtake her as she remembered that she had recently repeated her mother's words to Roger. She felt ashamed, for, unlike her mother, she had not followed through with these words. After her mother spoke those words, she had worked to become just that--a mother. No longer a prostitute, no longer a junkie, but a caring mother with a job and a daughter.

The screen faded away immediately after Mrs. Marquez had mouthed her profound, life-changing words, and, again, Mimi was rushed to the next screen, switching back to the left side, where an early grade school memory was displayed.


	5. Flirting Shamelessly

In this particular scene, Mimi was in her school's dingy playground, engaged in a typical recess. She guessed that she was about ten in this movie. Already, boys were falling for Mimi's short dresses and soft curls. She was surrounded by a group of older boys, and, characteristically, flirting shamelessly, especially for a fifth-grader.

Mimi had never had a problem finding a boyfriend, though she was often taken advantage of. What she really needed, however, she couldn't obtain. She needed to be a normal ten-year-old and have a group of girlfriends to giggle with and have sleepovers with. She needed the kind of sincere, unconditional love that comes only from a best friend. But because almost every fellow schoolgirl was insanely jealous of Mimi's early success with boys, they were all hostile towards her. Consequently, she never had a true friend.

The tunnel rushed Mimi through several similar school scenes, each making her wish that she could have been a normal little girl with normal friends and a normal life, but she never had been. And she could never change her past and the fact that she had been introduced to too much too soon. She had always been ten going on twenty-six. With no real friends and her memories of being beaten, Mimi had always had low self-esteem for herself and her body.

The starry square finally brought her to a scene set somewhere other than school. She groaned. She didn't want to watch this moment. She didn't want to be here anymore. Living her life once had been bad enough.

Authors Note: Don't forget to review!! I could use some comments.


	6. Hate

This scene found herself and her mother preparing for her mother's second wedding. Mrs. Marquez looked beautiful, and startlingly similar to the Mimi standing in the tunnel--matching white gowns, temporarily tamed curls, and big brown eyes, full of life.

Along with the marriage, Mimi would gain a responsible stepfather, a beautiful and popular blonde stepsister, and a newer, bigger house (but not a new name, as Mimi's mother had decided that she and her daughter would keep their own surname). Mimi could have gained a whole new life. A better life. But her rebellious, spiteful, fourteen-year-old self had decided against it with seven words.

She remembered the conversation being shown so well. Her mother had sat down with her right before the wedding and said, "Mimi, it's really important to me that you approve of all this. You know, it's been a while since your dad died, and I don't expect Jim to replace your father, but he is a really great guy and Belle is really sweet." Mimi sat and pondered. Her anger boiled. She knew these descriptions were accurate, but she didn't want new people and she didn't want a new life.

"I hate them," she said scornfully, and, barely above a whisper, she added, "and I hate you."

With those words, she officially shut out everyone. Mimi didn't know what she wanted or why she didn't want this. She had longed to be normal, and here was her chance to be a part of a normal family, and she turned them away. But she had grown used to being alone--she didn't need anyone.

The scene ended, but the square remained motionless, as if expecting Mimi to relive the rest on her own.

The rest of the wedding had proceeded. Mimi had looked angry in all of the pictures taken that day, and her mother had looked as though she was about to cry, but certainly not from joy. Mimi felt horrible every time she distressed her mother, but quickly learned to dismiss this and all regrets.

Mimi moved into the beautiful house with the beautiful family, only talking to her stepfather and stepsister when it was completely necessary. Belle was always having friends over, and, like her former classmates, Mimi's jealousy mutated into unspoken hostility. She was sick of everything; she wanted to leave.

Mimi's thoughts quickly stopped as she was again moved forward in the tunnel. She could sense exactly what would be shown to her next.


	7. Wanting to be Found

As expected, it was her big "running away" episode. Now fifteen, she appeared on the screen packing her bags. She has also written a note that day--a note to her mother. Typical Mimi- underneath everything, no matter how rebellious she appeared, she just wanted to be found.

"I have to leave. I'll be okay. Love, Mimi" That's what she had written. Then she had left. The tunnel screen still showed her packing, but Mimi's mind wandered.

She had fled to her current boyfriend's apartment. She knew this would be one of the first places her mom would look (if she looked), but Mimi had nowhere else to go. And she almost wanted to be found.

Mrs. Marquez was worried, but decided it would be best not to force her daughter to come home. She knew that Mimi was independent and would able to make it on her own. She sent her own note to where she correctly guessed Mimi had gone. "Maybe you can come home when you're ready. I love you." Mrs. Marquez hoped that this would let Mimi know that she cared. Her biggest fear was that Mimi would end up just like she used to be. She knew that she would never be able to bear seeing Mimi like that.

When Mimi received her mother's note, however, her eyes had filled with tears. _"Maybe"_ she could come home? Her mother hadn't said that she _wanted_ Mimi to come home, and she didn't seem to be the least bit worried. She hadn't come to retrieve her daughter. Oh well, she, Mimi, didn't need family--she had always been fine on her own.

Screen Mimi slammed the front door of her stepfather's house (never had she referred to it as _her_ house) shut and the scene ended. The square moved forward. What would she be forced to remember next?


	8. Can't Afford Pride

Ah, yes, the big breakup. Mimi had known that she wouldn't be able to live with her boyfriend forever, as she never engaged in truly serious or deep relationships, but, for some reason, she just didn't see it coming.

The screen showed Mimi, still fifteen, arguing furiously with her boyfriend, arms flailing about. They were getting tired of living together and now argued over everything; this had been the last argument.

Over her roughly six-month stay at this apartment, Mimi had developed her drug addiction, which was still with her. She had tried different drugs before, but never became dependent until now. Her boyfriend had been addicted to crack, and with him shooting up all the time, Mimi just jumped on the bandwagon. It allowed her to escape her lonely life and actually feel good, at least for a little while. It also happened to be convenient that her appetite decreased, as there wasn't much money for food anyway.

The relationship ended, of course, with the scene being displayed. The dumping was basically mutual, but Mimi had been kicked out.

She was almost glad to get out, but had no idea where to go. She certainly wasn't going back to her family, where she was sure she wasn't wanted. So, she left with her few possessions. She had no friends, no money, and nowhere to go; in fact, she had little more than a desire for crack.

Driven by this desire, she set out to find a job. What else could she do? She needed money. She knew, however, that it would be a long while before she would have enough for her own apartment, and she wasn't exactly jumping at the opportunity to be homeless until then.

Deciding that she simply could no longer afford pride, she slowly dialed the familiar number of her family's home (not her home, as she had decided the moment she moved in) on the nearest payphone.

"Hello?" said her mother's smooth voice. Mimi paused--nothing would come out of her mouth. "_Hello?_" her mother said again, more impatiently. "Hi, mama? It's Mimi," she mustered. "Mimi?! Baby, how are you. I haven't heard from you in so long!" "I'm alright, but…um…I need to ask a favor." "Okay." "Uh, mommy, I need to borrow some money for, uh, an apartment." "What about that boy you were living with?" "We broke up and he kicked me out." "Oh, I'm sorry. You know, you _could _just come home…if you want to." "No, mama, I…I can't." "Mimi, why don't we meet somewhere and talk this over."

So she and her mother met at a restaurant, seeing each other for the first time since Mimi had stormed out. Mrs. Marquez, who was fairly well off by this time, agreed to loan Mimi enough money for an apartment. Mrs. Marquez would rather have given all of her life savings to Mimi than see her daughter on the streets. Mimi had never paid her mother back, but neither of them had really expected her to.

They found an apartment that day, and Mimi assured her mother that she would find a job, try to stay in school, and reminded her once again that she would be okay alone. She knew her mother did care, but Mimi had developed a habit of shutting people out.

She suddenly realized how far her mind had wandered. This tunnel seemed to encourage mind wandering, even force it. Her fifteen-year-old counterpart was still arguing heatedly. But, soon enough, she was moving through the tunnel again.


	9. Do You Go to the Cat Scratch Club?

This next scene depicted another argument. This time it was between Mimi and her boss. She had found a witnessing job and had been living in her apartment for about a year. Living alone with a full-time job seemed a bit much for a sixteen-year-old, but this was the life Mimi knew.

The living arrangement, however, was starting to get crazy--even for Mimi. With no license, she had only public transportation available, and she was often late for work. She could barely pay her rent and never had enough to eat. Her job didn't pay well enough, and her tips her always reserved as unofficial "drug money." She needed a change.

Thus, the argument being shown. Mimi had asked for a raise, and her boss refused, stating that Mimi was always late and that her work wasn't up to par. Mimi had been fired that day.

She would have to find a new job and a cheaper apartment--but who the hell would hire a sixteen-year-old, crack head, high-school dropout?! (Mimi could only fit school into her life for so long and had recently dropped out. She managed to get through a few months of junior year by taking some night classes, but it was all too much now.)

Not knowing what to do, Mimi began wandering aimlessly around the city and soon stumbled into the answer to who would hire her.

She was slowly meandering her way down a street when…SMACK!…she walked right into a door that had been swung open just seconds before she reached it. Confused and in pain, she looked up. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" the man who had obviously opened the door asked hastily. "Uh, yeah, I guess," Mimi answered slowly. Still lying on the sidewalk, she looked up at the door of the shabby building. It had a big paw print on it. Where was she?

"Why don't you come in and sit down for a sec?" the man asked, helping Mimi to her feet. She nodded and walked inside with him. She immediately realized that she was in some kind of night club. The interior of this building was surprisingly nice. There was a bar in the back, scattered tables and chairs, and a small stage-like platform in the middle of a large dance floor, among other paraphernalia. It looked slightly odd, as it was daytime, but Mimi guessed that the club came to life at night.

"Are you sure you're alright?" the man asked again. Mimi nodded. "Well, I'm Logan Green, owner of the Cat Scratch Club. I was just going outside to put up a 'Help Wanted' sign. You know, you look like a dancer…" He was obviously looking for her name. "Mimi Marquez," she completed, "and, yeah, I dance a little. Why?" "Well, that's what the sign was for. We're looking for a regular dancer here at the club, four nights a week. It pays fairly well and our members are generally good tippers--if they've been…uh…entertained."

Everything was happening so fast, and it almost sounded too good to be true. Better money, a nice boss, only four days a week (so she might be able to go back to high school); plus, Mimi had always loved dancing. She quickly agreed to take the job.

"Okay, Mimi, I'm gonna have to ask you to come back for an audition. Oh, and it's good to have a gimmick--the wilder, the better. Can you come back tomorrow?" asked Logan. "Yeah, that sounds great," Mimi replied genuinely. "We haven't exactly had a lot of applicants since we've had an opening, so don't sweat it. Oh, and Mimi, how old are you?" "Uh, seventeen," Mimi lied. Seventeen sounded way older than sixteen, she figured. "Oh…well…I usually don't hire minors, but it should be okay as long as you have a parent or guardian sign this." Logan handed Mimi what looked like a long contract. Aha, the catch. She would have to get her mother's approval to become an exotic dancer.

The argument between Mimi and her boss ceased, and the square shot through the tunnel again, as though it was following her thoughts.


	10. Yet Another Argument

Sure enough, a sixteen-year-old Mimi talking on a payphone appeared next. In the tunnel, Mimi was sure that her mother was on the other line. That day, she had told Mrs. Marquez the whole story, and, of course, yet another argument occurred.

Mrs. Marquez simply was not willing to support her daughter's newest career choice. "Mimi," she stated firmly, "I will not allow you to exploit your body like that. You're only sixteen!" "Mommy, I'm old enough to make my own decisions," Mimi whined. "Yes, well apparently, your choices still require my approval and this one does not have it," her mother retaliated.

She was terribly afraid that Mimi would end up like she had been some ten years ago. There was no way she would allow her daughter to follow the destructive path she herself had once led.

Mimi, however, though her mother was being terribly unreasonable. She had been too young to remember or realize the things her mother had done before she had changed into the parent Mimi now knew. She didn't see how she would be "exploiting her body;" all she saw was fun and money.

"If you need my permission for a _real_ job, Mimi, feel free to call again. And, of course, you know you don't _have _to work--you can come back home," Mrs. Marquez continued. Mimi was angered by how calm her mother was remaining. "That is NOT my home and I will do whatever I want!" she screamed. "Okay. But I just want what's best for you. Goodbye, Mimi." Mrs. Marquez certainly could stay cool, even when she was hurt and torn up inside. Mimi suddenly felt bad. "Okay. Bye, Mommy. I love you," she said. But her mother had already hung up.

The movie continued and showed Mimi walking down New York streets, but in the tunnel, Mimi's mind was again moving forward rapidly.

She had known that she wanted to work at the Cat Scratch Club, but what could she do without her mother's signature? Suddenly, an incredibly obvious plan hit her. If her mother wouldn't sign the form, Mimi would just have to sign it for her. She had never been one to care about laws and rules and ethics anyway, much less follow them.

She rarely heard from her mother, so Mrs. Marquez would never find out. But what if she did call and ask where Mimi was working? In that case, Mimi had gotten her job at the restaurant back. She could surely think up more lies if they were needed. Mimi was feeling rather pleased with her plan and stopped walking immediately, held the form against a wall, and carefully signed her mother's name. Now she would just have to get through the audition. And the tunnel would take her there.


	11. Lawn Chair Handcuff Dance

Author's Note: Looking over it, I realized this chapter is really weird, but I can't really take it out now, so I hope you all like it anyway…

After Mimi signed the form, she remembered what Logan had said: "It's good to have a gimmick…" So, basically, she needed her own distinguishing dance. But what?

She headed back to her apartment, lost in thought. She decided that she would go home and try to prepare and practice; the "gimmick" would come later. Her audition was not until the next afternoon, so she still had time.

After stretching and practicing some dancing, Mimi decided to go to bed early. That night, she felt restless and encountered a bizarre dream. In it, she was arrested. When she asked the police surrounding her what she had done, they told her that the chairs she owned were illegal. The lawn chairs that decorated her mish-mashed apartment, they said, had to be kept outside at all times, preferably on a lawn. Mimi was outraged and tried to fight back, but the police officers put handcuffs on her and locked her in a jail cell. They left the handcuffs on despite the fact that she was already locked up and never removed them.

Confused and startled, Mimi woke up. Lawn chairs? Handcuffs? That was weird. No…wait--that was it!

She grabbed the few dollars that were lying on her nightstand, pulled on her coat, and headed out to make an important purchase, even though it was about six o'clock in the morning.

She found a toy store that was open and quickly bought a pair of cheap handcuffs, the kind where the key is totally unnecessary, as one can easily rip them open without any assistance. She brought them home a prepared her act.

That was where the tunnel scene began--the audition. Mimi had dragged a lawn chair from her apartment and her handcuffs back down to the Cat Scratch Club, where she entered a back room with Logan and a few other "important people" from the club. She noticed that there was no one else auditioning.

Despite the lack of competition, Mimi put her all into the performance, as the screen now depicted. She started out handcuffed to the chair and proceeded to dance on and around it provocatively. In a big finish, Mimi freed herself from the chair and immediately executed a skillful back walkover. She turned to Logan and company, and took a bow, handcuffs still dangling from one hand.

She had not focused on them on the day of the audition, but now seeing it on screen, Mimi noticed that the onlookers looked impressed throughout her performance.

"Mimi Marquez," Logan said professionally, "You're hired. Welcome to the Cat Scratch Club." Thus, the Lawn Chair Handcuff Dance was born.

The only question now was what music Mimi would perform to. It was quickly decided that her act required no music. The only sounds would be those of talking, cheering, and drinks being stirred in the background.


	12. An Unlikely Bonding Experience

Mimi had started her job at the Cat Scratch Club right away. She worked Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights, but always saved her "famous" lawn chair handcuff dance for the Saturday crowd. This schedule allowed her to go back to school, but Mimi had forgotten her great dislike for schoolwork, and she officially dropped out after completing her junior year.

Now seventeen, the tunnel displayed a rather memorable Saturday night at the club. After dressing and putting on her heavy stage make-up, she went out to meet and greet some of the people at the club. She caught site of an older looking man sitting alone at a table. Something about him looked familiar. He had been thinking the same think about the approaching Mimi. As she got nearer, Mimi realized who this man was and instantly gasped.

"Jim?!" she said disbelievingly. What was her stepfather doing here? "Mimi?!" he said as her identity registered as well. "Don't tell your/my mom I was here!" they said simultaneously, each using the appropriate pronoun. Both let out a nervous laugh.

Mimi was suddenly confused. "My mom doesn't know you're here?" she asked. "Well, she just knows that I'm out with some friends," he gestured at some men at the bar who were obviously the friends he was speaking of, "but I don't think she would approve of me coming to this club." "Well, I _know_ she doesn't approve of me_ working_ at this club," Mimi said. They both laughed again, more genuinely this time--like children sharing a secret.

"Oh, um I have to go perform," Mimi said. "Okay. Maybe we can…talk later?" her stepfather said in the form of a question, as though asking her approval of this idea. Mimi thought for a couple of seconds. "Yeah, okay," she finally replied.

She walked up onto the stage, suddenly dreading having to dance with her stepfather in the audience. She toned down her act as much as she could. Mimi noticed, however, that Jim did not look up at her throughout the entire performance. He was just as awkward and embarrassed as she, but didn't watch mostly, Mimi knew, out of pure respect for his stepdaughter.

After Mimi had finished working, she and Jim did spend time together, as the tunnel was portraying. They went out to a restaurant, ate, and talked all night. They had not stayed in touch or even visited each other again after this time together, but it felt like that one night had been enough.

Mimi had inquired about her mother, but the unlikely pair found much else to discuss. It was a strange experience, as Mimi had never really had a fatherly figure and Jim had never really known his stepdaughter. It was like their awkwardness around each other gave them a common ground.

Jim never came back to the club, and Mimi never sought him, but both felt that they knew where to go if they ever really needed someone to talk to. It was in interesting connection.

As Mimi watched this memory, she thought maybe she would go and talk to Jim again…if she ever got out of this tunnel.


	13. A New Relationship

Author's Note: Sorry about the whole "refusing to update for a while" thing. My muse was on vacation apparently. But here's my newest chapter!!

Mimi's thoughts shifted as she was brought to another scene. In it, she was exiting her apartment, but it wasn't the one she expected. This must have been the early days in her current apartment; she had moved to a new place around her eighteenth birthday. At that time, she was still roommate-less, but had heard about a bunch of people, mostly aspiring artists of some sort, living in the apartment below hers.

Her two gossipy sorority-girl neighbors were always giggly about how cute one of the guys in that apartment was. "It is _such_ a shame that he has a girlfriend," they often said, "I wish she would just die!" They had always said this jokingly (followed by extreme giggling, of course), but Mimi winced as she remembered these words. Their wish had come true. Roger's former girlfriend, April, had, in fact, killed herself not so long ago. Now she, Mimi, was Roger's girlfriend. Was she in the process of meeting the same fate?

Mimi redirected her thoughts to what was being sown in the tunnel. It was her first encounter with one of these talked about people from the floor below her. She was leaving for work, and as she was exiting the apartment building, she nearly collided with someone who was entering at the same time. They apologized and walked past each other, but then, both stopped in their tracks. Mimi remembered feeling totally taken aback by this stranger. They turned and stared at each other.

"Hi," the stranger said, "I'm Benny." "Mimi," she said, shaking his hand. "I just came home to change," Benny told her. "I'm going out later…I don't mean to be forward, but, uh, do you maybe wanna come?" "I'd love to," Mimi said, "but I was just heading out--I have to work." "Really?" Benny inquired, obviously thinking it strange that Mimi was heading out for work when most people were coming home, "Where do you work?" "Oh, I dance at the Cat Scratch Club…for now." Mimi added the "for now" upon realizing that dancing at a night club hardly sounded like a respectable career, though it was practically full-time, as she was now working six nights a week and helping clean up at the club some days for extra money.

Benny continued, "Well, maybe I'll stop by there and we can go somewhere later." "Yeah, okay," Mimi replied calmly, though she was totally thrilled on the inside.

Benny did come to see Mimi that night, and afterwards, they had gone out to eat. Mimi seemed to be going to restaurants with everyone whom she came across in her life. If Mimi went out to eat with someone, it was sort of a sign that she thought they were worthwhile.

In time, she grew to be pretty serious about Benny. For whatever reason, she was determined to make this relationship work. Most of her boyfriends only stayed around for a couple of months. But Mimi really like Benny, so she let the tings that annoyed her about him go. Besides being slightly shallow and kind of power-hungry, he seemed like a good guy.

They had ultimately stayed together for about a year. Eleven months into the relationship, however, there was a somewhat unexpected twist. Benny proposed. Mimi was shocked. She was still so young, but she loved Benny (or so she thought) and accepted.

Before wedding plans were even beginning to be made, the relationship/engagement ended when Mimi had just turned nineteen, and it ended on rather bad terms. Mimi gave back the ring. She now wondered if that same ring was on the finger of Benny's wife. No, she guessed, Alison Grey would probably desire (and only settle for) a much more ornate piece of jewelry.

Before she knew it, Mimi was being rushed through the tunnel again. She unsure of exactly what would be shown next, but she guessed that her break-up with Benny would be the theme.


	14. Emergencies

In the next scene, she wasn't with Benny, but it did involve the break-up--sort of.

She was actually being shown with a doctor in an unnaturally clean and pristine room. Its gleaming whiteness somewhat resembled the tunnel. Mimi remembered this day well, for it had changed her life.

It was Logan who had first suggested that she see a doctor. For a while, Mimi hadn't been feeling well. She had been staying home from work and finally decided to go in one day when she could actually manage to get out of bed. She wasn't feeling great, but she needed the money and convinced herself that she was slightly better--well enough to go to work, at least.

When she got to the club, however, Logan noticed her poor health immediately. "Whoa, Mimi!" he had said, "You look awful!" He reached over and felt her forehead with the back of his hand as though she was six years old and he was her concerned mother "Oh my god, you're burning up! Why are you here?! Go home! No, wait…we need to get you to a doctor. No, maybe the emergency room!" Mimi could only stand there and stare while Logan ranted. "_Come on!_ _Let's go_!" he urged, taking her hand.

He proceeded to yell some things at co-workers and took Mimi out to his car. They drove to the nearest hospital. Throughout the ride, Mimi's tension mounted. She didn't know what was wrong with her, and she hadn't actually gone to see a doctor since before she had left her home with her mom and stepfamily. That was nearly five years ago.

When they finally got to the emergency room, Mimi was forced to fill out extensive and exhausting paperwork--something she _really_ did not feel like doing. Then, of course, she and Logan had to wait. And wait and wait, surrounded by many other annoyed and injured people.

Finally, Mimi was taken in to see a doctor. Unlike the stoic receptionist, this doctor seemed to have a genuine care for the strangers who came to see her, even if she did seem rather rushed.

"So…," searching for a name, she looked down at a clipboard which obviously contained the multiple sheets of information that Mimi had filled out, "Mimi," she said, followed by a brilliant smile, "what seems to be the problem?" Obviously no one thought that Mimi was a _real _emergency since she was casually speaking with a doctor instead of being rushed through the hospital on a stretcher. Nevertheless, she explained about her high fevers, unexplained rashes, recent weight loss, and other symptoms.

"Hmm…Mimi, are you sexually active?" Mimi nodded slowly. "And have you been tested for HIV lately?" "Uh, no, I've never been tested," Mimi answered skeptically. "I see."

The doctor, who had just taken a seat, motioned for Mimi to do the same. "Mimi, I believe in being totally straightforward and honest with my patients, so I'm just going to come out and tell you…I suspect that you are HIV positive and that you may have been so for awhile…and…it is also likely that you have developed AIDS; that could very well explain your symptoms."

That was a lot for Mimi to take in in a very short amount of time. She didn't want to believe any of it; in fact, she just wanted to scream and cry, and maybe throw something at someone.

Why hadn't she thought about this before? She had been sleeping around and sharing drug needles without a care in the world…but what could she do now?

After some tests had been run, it was determined that Mimi _did_ have AIDS. The doctor gave her a prescription that would lower her fever, provided some brochures and advice, told her about different support groups, and sent her on her way. Mimi wondered if this was all that this doctor could do, but then reminded herself that she didn't have any kind of appointment and that there were plenty of other emergencies waiting.

She went back out to the waiting room, where Logan was still sitting. Mimi could have fallen into his arms and cried her eyes out; that's what she had wanted to do, but she had decided then and there that she was going to be strong and start making the most of her life--what as left of it anyway. Fro now on, she was going to do whatever made her happy.

It was then that she realized that Benny wasn't making her happy. Marrying him would be a huge mistake. She made plans to end their relationship the next time she saw him.

Logan drove her back to her apartment. Mimi didn't feel much like discussing her recent diagnosis and Logan didn't push it; he merely told her that she could take as much time off from work as she needed. She thanked him and went up into her apartment. She had wanted to talk to Benny that night but was still feeling pretty sick, so she put it off until the next morning.

Mimi got dressed and went down to Benny's apartment soon after she woke up the next day. But it wasn't Benny who answered the door. A tall blonde man who looked like he was still in pajamas responded to her knocking, looking confused. Before he could say anything, Mimi asked, "Is Benny home?" "Uh, no," the man said, "but he should actually be getting home in a few minutes. You can come in and wait for him if you want." "Okay." Mimi stepped inside.

Strangely enough, Mimi had never been in Benny's apartment, nor had she met the people with whom he lived.

The man who had let her in took a seat on a couch and picked up his recently abandoned guitar. Mimi sat awkwardly in a chair across from him as he tried to tune the instrument, then threw it aside in frustration. Neither of them said anything, and both assumed that the other knew who they were.

The room remained silent until another man clad in a striped sweater burst in. "Rog, I think we're out of…" He stopped upon seeing Mimi. "Oh, I didn't know we had company." "She's waiting for Benny," the first man said. Mimi jumped in, "Maybe I'll just come back later and…"

She was interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Benny entered and immediately noticed Mimi. "Mimi? What are you doing here, baby?" he asked. "Um, I just needed to talk to you about something," Mimi replied. "That's so funny because I wanted to talk to you about something! Why don't we step outside?"

Benny and Mimi went out into the hallway. "Okay, Mimi, what did you want to tell me?" "You go first," she said, losing confidence. "Okay, well…Mimi, you know I love you, but, um, I don't know if this--you know, us--is going to work out." "Oh my God," Mimi said, almost laughing, "are you breaking up with me?!" "Mimi, I'm really sorry." "No, Benny, I came here to break up with you!" She pulled the engagement ring off her finger and threw it at Benny's feet, suddenly infuriated. "GOODBYE!" she screamed.

At the time, she didn't really know Benny's reason for breaking up with her (though she was glad to get rid of him), but later realized that it was probably because he had met Alison and didn't want to be tied down by his relationship with Mimi. He ended up marrying her after knowing her for approximately two months. Mimi knew that he was in love--she just wasn't sure if it was with his wife or her money.

She never did find out whether or nor Benny had AIDS too. In fact, she wasn't exactly sure where or from whom she herself had gotten it. But she did know that she wasn't prepared to give up sex or drugs.

So, she continued with her life.


	15. Turn Around, Girlfriend

The tunnel then rushed her through familiar scenes from her nineteenth year.

Not a lot had happened during the time between her two most recent boyfriends--Benny and Roger. Nothing from these uneventful three months was displayed. Instead, the tunnel brought her directly to the Christmas Eve when she had met Roger.

So much had happened that night--not only had she fallen for Roger, but she had also fought and made up with him, saw Benny for the first time since their break-up, revealed that she was HIV positive to a group strangers (and found out that she wasn't the only one), and she had met people who would become her lifelong friends.

Then she was brought to New Year's Eve. Then Angel's Death. Then Roger's exodus to Santa Fe. Before she knew it, she was reliving the very last memory she had of her life. She had collapsed in the park. She wanted to see Roger, and somehow, she ended up on a table with Mark, Maureen, Joanne, Collins, and him surrounding her. Collins was on hold with 911. Everything was so frantic…people were talking quickly and sounded worried. Roger had written a song for her. He started to sing. Abruptly, the scene ended and the screen disappeared. Where could she go now? She didn't_ have_ any more memories. That was where it stopped.

Mimi stared at the empty wall. Everything felt completely unreal. It felt like years had passed since Roger had begun that song, and yet the melody still lingered on and echoed through the empty tunnel. How long _had_ she been here?

All of a sudden, the square on which Mimi had almost forgot she was standing turned so that she was facing forward. This time, however, it did not rush her ahead to the next scene, as it usually did. It remained motionless. Mimi started to get apprehensive--she couldn't go anywhere.

The light at the end of the tunnel suddenly disappeared. Panic. Then a drag queen dressed in a white gown similar to Mimi's, and wearing heavy make-up and a beautiful long golden-brown wig appeared. It was Angel! The length of tunnel behind her disappeared so that there was merely a wall behind her; the size of the tunnel seemed to be dramatically decreased. As glad as Mimi felt to see another person, she was slightly disheartened. Seeing dead people seemed like a surefire sign that she was either crazy or also dead.

"What are you doing here?" she asked Angel anxiously, "And what am _I_ doing here?" "Don't worry--you're almost out! Just turn around, girlfriend and listen to that boy's song!" Angel smiled warmly.

Mimi wasn't exactly capable of turning herself around, but the square, which seemed to know what she was thinking, turned her in the opposite direction. She found that the length of tunnel behind her had also disappeared, and instead of the long, empty tunnel, she saw only a white door that was a mere inches away from her.

"Open it," Angel said. Wanting to escape the claustrophobic feelings that were coming over her, Mimi gladly grasped the knob and pulled the door open. She gasped. What she saw gave her a bizarre feeling. It felt as if she were looking _down_ at the sky, or maybe the whole universe. She could see millions of stars, thin, wispy clouds, and even planets and moons decorating the black sky. She suddenly became scared that she would fall out of the tunnel and into this deep, endless space.

As soon as she had opened the door, the quiet music grew in volume.

"You've gotta jump, Mimi," Angel instructed. "It's the only way for you to get back." "What?!" Mimi asked disbelievingly, " How do I know that I'm going to end up in the right place?!" Angel calmly answered, "You don't. You've just got to have faith."

Mimi wasn't ready, but apparently the square was. It rushed forward, leaving Angel and the tunnel behind, and it boldly ventured out into the vast night sky.

The square, which had so much resembled the night sky itself, blended into the surroundings and disappeared. Without it, Mimi was free to move, but she could barely think--or even breath, for that matter, so she closed her eyes out of fear and started to fall. She was, however, still comforted by Roger's song. It grew louder and louder as she plunged through the sky, and she started to hear words along with the notes. That _had _to be a good sign, and as soon as she started to feel confident that she would make it home after all…


	16. Back

Author's Note: This is the last chapter!! It wasn't really necessary to make another chapter, and this one will be extremely short, but I just wanted to add some dramatic effect…

…she opened her eyes with a jolt and found herself back in Roger's apartment in her own clothes. It really was just a matter of faith. 

Mimi felt like she had been gone forever, but her life seemed to pick up right where it had left off. Roger was still singing and seemed to be just now finishing up. It occurred to Mimi that maybe time didn't exist in the tunnel, and she had merely been there--not for a certain amount of time; in the tunnel, she just existed. She let it go at that and allowed herself to be filled with joy.

Without really thinking or comprehending what she was saying, Mimi blurted out, "I jumped over the moon!" "What?!" Roger asked hastily, partly shocked and confused and partly overjoyed that Mimi showed signs of life. "A leap of…Moooooooooo!" "She's back!" Joanne screamed. "I was in a tunnel, headed for this warm, white light…" "Oh my God…" Maureen commented. "And I swear, Angel was there--and she looked _good_! And she said, 'Turn around, girlfriend, and listen to the boy's song…' "

Mimi didn't feel like explaining the whole thing--even _she_ didn't understand everything that had happened in the tunnel. Besides, it didn't matter now. She was back.

The End. (Yay!!!!)


End file.
